apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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