clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
