I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
