People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
