So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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