no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
