You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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