i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
3 2 1 whiskey
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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