Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
