There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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