dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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