she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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