I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
