Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
