i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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