sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
