I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize