if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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