I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
