nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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