i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
