make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
