Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize