We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize