yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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