We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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