Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
why is half of my head shaved?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
