When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
