Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
