the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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