just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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