Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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