remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
