im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
