don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
