She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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