this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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