But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
