I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
