you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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