I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
