I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
