bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
