She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You ruined the universe
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize