which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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