im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
