he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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