I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
