Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
