I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
