what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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