And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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