I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
