She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
