every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize