i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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