I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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