Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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