My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
