Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
