Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
