that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You can't just leave with hair like that
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
