he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
