Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
