Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
