i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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