so that wasnt chicken after all
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
